The Silence
by Angelicheartbeats
Summary: Not even his facial expression says more than his silence. Levi was at his quietest in this very moment and perhaps that meant at his most vulnerable. [Eruri Smut, subtle angst]


Everyone takes their grief out in different ways. Some prefer to mourn, others prefer to spend it in silence. Some take a while to get over that denial stage and some don't even go through it. With such a threatening society on their hands; living in constant fear of the Titans, grief became almost part of the routine. Since death was something that occurred so frequently, some slowly became adjusted to it being in their lives. However, for some, the mourning never ends. The light of day seems so far away that you begin to wonder if you will ever see it again. Born into a procession of grief, it's always been there and it will continue to be there.

Calloused hands touch a pale face that should be stained with tears. It's not the touch he wants. His fingers are running through those silky black locks that should give off that sweet smell of soap. However that wasn't the way it was. Should be's weren't good enough, it was just the way it was and that was the way it would stay. He knew he was broken, such a man does not let his standards drop this low. His silver eyes stare right into his blue ones. Not even his facial expression says more than his silence. Levi was at his quietest in this very moment and perhaps that meant at his most vulnerable.

"Levi," Erwin breathed, his lips lingering close to his neck; exposed and bare. It's what he wants to hear. Just Erwin's voice was good enough to fill the quiet of the room, he didn't need to speak. He's touching him, sliding his hands along his slim but defined body and chest, across his thighs, all stained with painted blotches of red and blue. The scars and bruises ruined a creamy canvas but that didn't stop the taller man from admiring him. In his silence, he wished the touch felt more real, his body was numb from the bitterness of pain and he only felt the slightest tinge of comfort as his fingers slid in the small crevices of where the maneuver gear had dug in too deep.

Levi draws his eyes away from Erwin's almost reluctantly. Erwin's are lidded and looking him over with not a single sense of disappointment. He couldn't treat his beloved much differently in the eyes of any onlookers so for the benefit of humanity, he had to have enough faith in Levi that sending him to die (just like many other) was the right choice. Relationships were difficult enough, nevermind in a society such as this in conditions that could pull them apart so easily.

He's surprisingly gentle with Levi and denying him the rough treatment he would later regret that he wants so badly. He's enjoying the heat of his body but it doesn't heal his numbness. Erwin spreads his legs, pushing them apart with little force and they move willingly to accommodate the larger body between them. Levi does not look at Erwin when he coats his fingers in lube but he hears him and that is enough. This whole act was filthy and disgusting; he hated it.

Yet, his fingers only dug deeper into the sheets as a digit circled and entered him. He's muffling any sounds he wants to make with the biting of his lip. He had always been rather vocal in the bedroom but now was not the time or place to be screaming his partner's name so loudly that they doubted people didn't know of their relationship. Erwin's fingers thrust in deeper, one, two, three fingers. It stretched him just enough to feel a slight tinge of pain. It was gentle yet so rough at the same time.

Before long, he's fumbling with the rest of his clothing. He reaches for the condom on the nightstand but Levi's hand grips his wrist to stop him. Erwin turns to look at him as if to ask him if it's really what he wants. Levi only nods before letting go allowing Erwin to retract his hand. Levi's head lolled to the side as Erwin lathered himself generously in lube. His fingers gripped his thighs, pushing them up to allow better access when he pushed inside of him. Levi does not protest to any of his movements remains in a bitter state of silence although it becomes difficult when he is entered. It was the pain of stretching that he wanted and quietly he wished Erwin would give him that rough friction he desperately craved. However, he knew he would continue to treat him like a doll that would break.

Erwin grit his teeth in anticipation as he let Levi adjust to the feeling of being filled to the brim even if he had felt it before.

"Levi," he uttered again, breath shallow. He wanted to tell him how beautiful he was, pretty, gorgeous, but they weren't the words for this man and he doubted - no, he knew he wouldn't appreciate such a thing being said to him. "Talk to me,"

Levi didn't respond. One of his hands unlaced itself from the sheets and moved to grasp Erwin's shoulder. He said nothing but drew him closer and rolled his hips in need. The blue-eyed blond took the message and only sighed quietly. Slowly, he pulled out and thrust back in with tenderness. Levi's body responded more than his lips could manage, as the shallow thrusts got deeper and deeper, faster and faster, his back arched slightly.

"Talk to me," Erwin repeated, rubbing his thumb against the indent of Levi's bottom lip where he had bitten it to hold back his moans and groans. He didn't stop his thrusts. Levi would have narrowed his eyes if he wasn't being thoroughly fucked by the taller man. Eventually, Erwin gave in trying to get him to speak. He breathed out heavily through his nose as he moved both hands to grasp his small hips and strengthen his movement inside him.

It was then it happened. Erwin had to pause for moment. A soft murmur of "Erwin" emitted quietly from the smaller man. He did not take it for granted as his thrusts quickened; feeling himself close to orgasm. Levi's head tilted back, exposing more of the milky flesh on his neck. He let himself gasp lowly as the pace increased.

Erwin's hand moved to pump Levi's cock, wanting him to orgasm too or the whole thing would be thrown off sync. Levi's hand moved to cover his mouth as he was stimulated, glaring a little at Erwin but without real intention behind it. He felt the familiar coil in his stomach as his hips jerked and his legs caved in when he came. Erwin could have sworn he heard another low utter of his name. The splatter of cum pooling on his stomach was disgusting and he tightened up instinctively. The heat around his cock was too much for him now and Erwin quickly finished soon after.

He allowed himself a moment to catch his breath before he pulled out of the smaller man. Normally, Levi's first instinct was a enjoy the afterglow briefly followed by getting out of bed to get a shower and wash the filth of sex off his body. There was none of that. He lay quietly in his silence. This whole act was filthy and disgusting; he secretly loved it.

"Levi?" Erwin was confused by his actions and moved his hand to caress Levi's cheek but he smacked it away.

"Shut up," he responded, voice hoarse and cracking. He had definitely had enough of that voice he craved earlier now. Erwin was quiet and moved his hand away. He lifted himself off and away from the bed. There was an eery silence as he dressed himself and left Levi as he was. Erwin had other duties he should be attending to but he was hesitant to leave the smaller man. Before he moved to leave, he walked over to him.

Erwin picked up his clothes from the floor and left them at the end of the bed. He grasped Levi's face and kissed his lips chastely. Levi looked back at him softly.

"It's not your fault," he told him before letting go. He doubted it would be of any comfort to him but he felt the need to say it anyway. He was surprised when Levi pulled him back down for another kiss. Although it didn't come as a surprise when he bit Erwin's lip harshly.

"Thanks shithead," he replied. Levi was not amused by Erwin's laughter that followed and proceeded to throw one of his shoes at him from the end of the bed. That was his Levi alright. Even he couldn't mourn in silence forever.

But only the silence could set him free.

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**A/N: **This is my first time writing fanfiction for this pairing/SNK so be easy on me adjusting to the characters haha. They're surprisingly hard characters to nail. Hope you enjoyed!


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